Intro

Uyi Citi i was born in Upper Sakponba — the most feared place in the city of Benin, Nigeria. In fact, if you told anyone you’re from there, their retina would send an object bearing ax and gun to their brains. Third East Circular, Upper Sakponba At first, it was annoying to be perceived as a rough, rugged, arrogant, thuggish — and every word in the cultism vocabulary — kind of person. However, that has all changed. When I learned I could actually make people fear me just be saying I’m from Upper; I built a throne on it. Damn it! Dia papa! I’m not a bad boy — at least by the definition of Upper’s badness and baldness. I’ve never puffed smoke out of my nose, except probably the ones from the wrapped sheets of my notebooks. Didn’t we all do that? I’ve never drank alcohol — except if the cup of palm-wine I drank when I was fourteen counts. I’ve never been a member of a cult: yes, I neva carry my leg enta bad gang. Even the nakedness of a woman I’ve not seen. Wait, scratch it. We all have TVs. So I am a pretty decent guy. No wonder people tend to experience something like a culture shock when they learn I am from Upper. (Note: Upper is our name for Upper Sakponba. We don’t add the Sakponba because it reduces our Upper). So did Upper ever influence me? First, you have to know Upper. Come, let me take you along. As a child, Upper was just a special place we played football on the streets. The streets I intentionally stepped on my cousin’s ankle and broke it during a five-a-side game. Why? He was such a good footballer, and I was a mess. If not that no one was available, I wouldn’t have made the team. But I loved football. But just like everything else, I sucked at it. The only thing I was good at was book. I was convinced I was really good at book until I had to write UTME three terrible times before I could gain a place in the hell called a university. Wait, scratch that. They are still with my certificate. Wait, leave it. I am a